This post, “Practical Steps to Develop Emotional Intelligence for Faith-Driven Leaders,” relates to one of my previous blogs. In that blog, Leading with Love: The Power of Emotional Intelligence in Faith-Driven Leadership, we explored how emotional intelligence (EQ) helps leaders align their actions with their values. But understanding why EQ matters is just the beginning—the real challenge lies in how to develop it.
Romans 12:9-12 calls us to lead with sincerity, devotion, and resilience:
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
Living out these principles requires more than good intentions—it requires intentional growth in emotional intelligence. EQ is not something you’re born with; it’s a skill that can be developed with practice and commitment. For faith-driven leaders, this journey is about ensuring that our leadership reflects who we are and what we believe.
The Four Pillars of Emotional Intelligence
According to Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry, EQ consists of four key areas:
- Self-awareness – Recognizing your own emotions and their impact.
- Self-management – Managing your emotions in healthy ways.
- Social awareness – Understanding the emotions of others.
- Relationship management – Navigating relationships with empathy and effectiveness.
Let’s dive into practical steps for each of these areas, ensuring that we’re not just aware of our emotions, but that we’re using this awareness to lead with authenticity and integrity.
1. Developing Self-Awareness: Recognize and Understand Your Emotions
To develop emotional intelligence, we must be self-aware. Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. It’s about knowing what you’re feeling, why you’re feeling it, and how it affects your behavior and decisions. To develop emotional intelligence, we must be self-aware.
Practical Steps:
- Start a Reflection Journal:
At the end of each day, take five minutes to reflect on your emotions. Ask yourself:- What emotions did I experience today?
- What triggered those emotions?
- How did those emotions affect my decisions or interactions?
This simple practice helps you identify patterns in your emotional responses and see how they influence your leadership.
- Seek Feedback from Trusted Individuals:
Sometimes, we can’t see ourselves clearly. Invite trusted colleagues, mentors, or friends to give you honest feedback on how you handle emotions in your leadership. Ask questions like:- How do I typically respond under stress?
- Do I listen well when others share their concerns?
Receiving feedback with an open heart allows you to grow in areas you might not even realize need attention.
- Practice Mindful Awareness:
When you feel a strong emotion—whether frustration in a meeting or anxiety before a big presentation—pause and acknowledge it. Instead of pushing it aside, name the emotion: “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now.” This simple act of acknowledgment gives you the power to respond intentionally rather than react impulsively.
2. Strengthening Self-Management: Control Your Emotions Effectively
Once you’re aware of your emotions, the next step is learning how to manage them. This doesn’t mean suppressing feelings but rather channeling them in healthy and constructive ways.
Practical Steps:
- Use the “Pause and Pray” Method:
Before reacting in emotionally charged situations, pause. Take a deep breath and, if possible, offer a quick prayer for wisdom and patience. This helps shift your focus from immediate emotional reactions to thoughtful responses aligned with your values. - Develop Healthy Stress-Relief Practices:
Regularly engage in activities that help you release stress, such as exercise, spending time in nature, or creative hobbies. For faith-driven leaders, practices like prayer, meditation, and scripture reading can also provide grounding and clarity. - Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy:
Emotional self-management isn’t just about handling big moments—it’s about managing the daily demands that drain you. Set clear boundaries around your time, workload, and relationships to prevent burnout and ensure you’re leading from a place of balance.
3. Growing Social Awareness: Understand the Emotions of Others
Social awareness is the ability to read the emotional landscape of your team, organization, or community. It’s about tuning into the unspoken needs, concerns, and feelings of those around you.
Practical Steps:
- Practice Active Listening:
When someone speaks, focus entirely on what they’re saying without formulating your response in your head. Maintain eye contact, nod in acknowledgment, and use phrases like “Tell me more about that” or “How did that make you feel?” This shows you value their perspective and creates space for honest dialogue. - Observe Nonverbal Cues:
Pay attention to body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. Sometimes, what’s not said is more important than what is. If you sense that someone is upset but not speaking up, gently invite them to share by saying, “I noticed you seemed a bit quiet in the meeting—how are you feeling about the project?” - Cultivate Empathy:
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Before making decisions, consider how they will affect those around you. Ask yourself: How would I feel if I were in their position? This helps ensure that your leadership decisions are compassionate and considerate.
4. Mastering Relationship Management: Build Healthy, Authentic Relationships
Relationship management is where all the other components of EQ come together. It’s about using your self-awareness, self-management, and social awareness to foster meaningful connections and navigate conflicts gracefully.
Practical Steps:
- Lead with Transparency and Integrity:
Be open about your values, intentions, and even your mistakes. When people see that you’re willing to be vulnerable and honest, it builds trust. As Romans 12:9 says, “Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it.” Authentic leadership creates an environment where others feel safe to do the same. - Address Conflict Directly and Respectfully:
Conflict is inevitable in leadership, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. When issues arise, approach them calmly and directly. Focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame, and always aim to preserve the relationship. - Celebrate and Encourage Others:
Take time to recognize the contributions and achievements of your team. A simple “Thank you for your hard work” or “I really appreciate your perspective” goes a long way in building morale and fostering a positive culture.
Final Thoughts: Emotional Intelligence as a Daily Practice
We cannot develop emotional intelligence one time and be done—it’s a continuous journey. As faith-driven leaders, we’re called not just to lead effectively but to live our values authentically. Emotional intelligence helps us align our actions with who we are, ensuring that our leadership reflects integrity, compassion, and resilience.
As Romans 12:12 reminds us:
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
When we lead with emotional intelligence, we’re better equipped to navigate the challenges of leadership with hope, patience, and faithfulness. So, start today. Take small steps. Reflect on your emotions. Listen deeply. Lead with authenticity. Because when your leadership flows from the center of who you are, it becomes a powerful force for positive change in your organization and beyond.
For more leadership insights, check out my blog at danitacummins.com/inspiring-articles
Let’s continue to grow, lead, and live our values together.