An Easter Message
“I’m not going anywhere,” I declared to the unsure girl as she sat across from me in our makeshift counseling room.
“Jesus went to the gates of hell for me and I’m not going anywhere. No matter what you do, I’ll be here for as long as you want me to be.” As I leaned back into the grey armchair’s textured tapestry, I felt like an astronaut strapping in for a trip to the moon.
She had come to our pregnancy center for help with her unplanned pregnancy. She sat with tears flowing down her soft cheeks. I watched them slowly trickle down the tattoo carved across her thin neck. Her dark black hair clung to the sides of her face, and she wrung her tattooed hands in her lap, the old English letters etched across each hand, reminding her daily to “Live and Love.”
And we sat in silence.
And waited for her decision. But one didn’t come.
Her Abortion Decision
For several weeks, we repeated this scene. Each Monday evening, she came to our pregnancy center, I gave her water or coffee, and we curled up in my tiny office to discuss the week’s events. The verbal abuse and harassment she received from the birth father was overwhelming. Coupled with her own struggles with previous drug use and sexual abuse, she struggled to find a place where she could shut off the world for a moment. She needed a space to collect her thoughts and unwrap the multitude of feelings surrounding her pregnancy decision.
And I sat across or beside her, holding her as she cried, asking the God who sees her to hover in that room. I prayed for his protection, grace, wisdom, and provision.
And they came. But they didn’t look the way I believed they should.
In the end, she chose abortion.
On the day of her procedure, I sat hundreds of miles away, in the comfort of my grand living room, while she drove to another state for her procedure. I prayed for her protection and that God would reveal his face to her. I trusted He saw her in greater depth and detail than I could ever see.
Like Hagar, in her desert, the God of the universe saw her and loves her still.
I tried, for as much as my human frailty can allow, to let the light of God dwell in me. To shine through all my broken pieces. For his love to radiate and restore her broken heart.
And then I wept for all that was lost.
Hope.
Love.
Happiness.
Life.
I wept for each moment.
And in that space, I realized that we are called to see the Father’s Heart in greater or deeper ways.
The Father’s Heart
This Christian life is not about purpose, platform, or productivity. It’s about seeing the Father’s heart in both the good and the grieving.
- It’s about learning how to decipher that still, small voice amidst the shouting and shame of the world.
- It’s about holding the hand of another human being, this side of heaven, looking into their bloodshot, swollen eyes, and allowing your own heart to be broken just like theirs.
- It’s about asking the Father to break your heart for what breaks His and for being courageous or crazy enough to stand there and let it happen.
- It’s waking up the day after the abortion, the miscarriage, the layoff, or the funeral and finding Jesus sitting in your favorite chair with outstretched arms.
- It’s wrapping yourself in His embrace, knowing that the pain of this world is too great and harsh for your finite human heart to bear.
- It’s loving Him still, with everlasting love, in the moments when heartache and suffering crash into your soul at breakneck speeds.
- It’s telling the person on the other side of the table that they are not alone. You’re not going anywhere.
- It’s reminding them that Jesus died for them, and you’re not going anywhere.
- That’s what we, those of us who call ourselves Christians, are called to do.
We can only do that when we dwell in Him.
Resurrection Celebration
Today we celebrate the resurrection and the life of Jesus. We celebrate His sacrifice and the endless hope His love provides for the world.
But do we see him in all the dark and dreary spaces of our lives? Do we see His promises and hand, never wavering or always holding everything together?
Do we see His power, provision, and strength?
But most importantly, do we see His everlasting love? In Jeremiah 31:3 we are reminded that God loves us with an everlasting love.
Faith, like fear or freedom, is hard to describe. Sometimes, it’s impossible to understand the depth or magnitude of its might. But then, we get a small glimpse of the sunrise and are reminded that He is Risen and that we are not alone.
And in that knowing, we find the peace and strength to endure another day.
Happy Easter, my friends.
May His love shine upon you today, and may you always find rest in Him.
About the Author: Danita Cummins is a business and leadership coach, podcast host, and advocate for emotional intelligence in leadership. With years of experience in coaching and mentorship, she brings a wealth of knowledge and passion to help individuals and organizations thrive. When she’s not writing or coaching, you might find her serving at the Alpha Life Pregnancy Center, sipping coffee or singing loudly to her favorite 80’s band.
Follow Danita on IG @danita_cummins or LinkedIn for more faith and leadership insights.